I shared this post on in my Facebook group last week and it really resonated with a lot of women so I wanted to share it and expand on my current season. Here’s the post:
Every week, I “treat” myself with my favorite Starbucks drink and usually a Target trip.
But here’s what I’ve noticed about myself…I’m still unfulfilled. Every week I look forward to the magic of good coffee and a kidless venture, but my insecurities? They’re still with me.
The struggles I feel to be a good mom + business owner still hang with me.
There is no amount of earthly satisfaction because after the perfect vacation, you still have dirty laundry to take care of. Am I right?!
Here’s what I want to share – Don’t let checklists, getting more done or multitasking be your worth or your God. I’m in a season of learning to just be. And that who I am is enough and I don’t need to fill every hour of every day with a task.
I’m not sure what this tangibly looks like…maybe more listening intentionally to my kids, hanging out with friends without my phone, or watching a show without doing laundry or making lists 😂
I hope this speaks to your heart if you feel like you’re never satisfied, never enough, and so forth.
We don’t need more coffee dates, Target trips or checkmarks. We need more Jesus.
This has been a hard unexpected season for me. I feel the motivation and inspiration from all I follow on social media to “go after what I want,” and that “rewards come to the hustlers,” but kinda just don’t want to. Ya know?
Don’t get me wrong, I 100% believe in my businesses and in raising my boys from home. But I don’t want to hustle. I don’t want to numb myself anymore with to-do lists and check marks. I was putting worth in all that I could accomplish, and it was maddeningly exhausting. Because the truth reminds that there are days I don’t want to be online. I don’t want to have to turn something on for Instagram stories or keep “showing up” for my audience.
I was even finding myself annoyed at my children wanting to play with me because I “had to get something done.” What is that?! Now, I will tell them to wait and not answer every beckon call immediately, but when they really, truly needed me, I was telling them to watch a show. Because it’s easy to get lost in your business, your wants, your needs.
But I am also 100% unfulfilled. My husband would rush home and tell me to go for a walk to get away, but that didn’t solve anything either. I would still feel like garbage. I’d finish another book, feel accomplished for 5 minutes, then look to fill that hole with another book or Netflix series.
So, how do we fix this? How do I pursue my deepest God-sized desires, give generously to my family who loves me for me, and find rest in God and not in what I can get done in a day? I think by just doing that. Working hard when it’s time to work, whatever that looks like for me. It could be working for 2hours some days on my business and other days, not working at all. I’m spending time consciously praying on my run or walk for the day ahead. That I would choose memories over my phone. That I would be fully equipped to handle the day as a mom and wife. And daily walking with the Lord. It’s so easy to complain and think “what’s wrong with me, but I haven’t been actively pursuing God to know that my worth is not in my ability to grow a business, gain a following, or check a million things off my list.
I’m fresh in this season and still trying to figure it all out. One day at a time is my goal. Try it today and see how it goes. And then trying again tomorrow. Reminding myself with every Starbucks trip that it’s a coffee and coffee isn’t my worth or magic. Putting everything into perspective and through the lens of God.
I’m in it friends! But I’m willing to bet this is exactly the journey God wants me on. Pursuing Him and my family each day.